Barbara Kahn Gardner (Vaudy)December 9, 1916—September 5, 2019Barbara Kahn Gardner--grande dame, bridge player extraordinaire, exemplary mother, confidante to her daughters in-law and grandchildren, great friend to hundreds and second mother to dozens--died of natural causes at her home in Hillsborough well into her 103rd year.

Barbara (Vaudy) Kahn Gardner was born in Stockton to Samuel Kahn and Rosalind Weissbein Kahn. Mr. Kahn was a utility executive who was head of Western States Gas and Electric. The Weissbein family was early-day gold mine owners in Grass Valley.

The Kahns moved to San Francisco and soon after to Hillsborough when Mr. Kahn took over the Market Street Railway, a private transportation company which competed with the Muni. It was famous for its "white front" cars and its attentive service. Its streetcars, cable cars and buses ran all over the city and down to San Mateo.

Barbara attended Hillsborough School (now South Hillsborough School) and then Castellaja in Palo Alto for high school. She became an accomplished English saddle rider and won numerous trophies and blue ribbons at horse shows around the country. At summer camp she was given the nickname Vaudy which remained with her throughout her life. Her parents frowned on co-education, so she turned down Stanford to attend Scripps College.

She made her debut in a party at Buckthorn, the Kahn house, in 1935 and was one of a handful of debutantes. Their comings and goings were chronicled in all of San Francisco's several newspapers.

On a visit to see family in Texas she met a young obstetrician and gynecologist from Houston, Irvin Bassist Gardner, at a dinner party. It was love at first sight, and they married on June 3, 1942 in a garden wedding at her parents' house. Dr. Gardner was a Major in the Army Air Corps. During the remainder of the war he was posted to Oklahoma City, Birmingham, Atlanta, Tampa and ultimately San Francisco. Although they had planned to live in Houston after the war, the draw of the Bay Area was too great.

Irvin set up practice in Burlingame and later added Redwood City and San Carlos. Together with famed architect Gardner Dailey, landscape architect, Tommy Church, and interior designer, Frances Elkins, the Gardners built a house in Hillsborough, which became the home for a family of three sons—Bob, Steve and Tom. The house and garden were featured numerous times in design magazines.

Vaudy settled into a life of active mom and community volunteer with the Cub and Boy Scouts, Hillsborough School and a fundraising charity called Girls Recreation Club. She was president of the San Mateo County Medical Wives Auxiliary and on the board of the Peninsula Children's Theater. She and Irvin entertained often-- from small lunches and dinners to large birthday and anniversary parties.

In 1968 they embarked on a trip around the world. On November 9, in New Delhi, Irvin died of a sudden heart attack in their hotel room. He was 56. Setting aside her shock and grief, Vaudy had to deal with unsympathetic authorities and was grateful for the intervention and assistance of the US Embassy.

Vaudy now entered a new phase of her life—a single mother with one son beginning a career, one in college and one in high school. She made the transition with eyes open, a clear mind and a heavy heart.

After the boys were grown she continued to play bridge constantly, often winning championships. She was a founding member of the Lonely Hearts, a singles bridge group that met monthly for dinner, bridge and conversation. Although shunning masters points, her playing was legendary whether with friends or on cruise ships. The Burlingame Country Club has a senior tournament named in her honor.

One of the saddest times of her life came in 1995. Her youngest son, Tom, a talented and well-known theater producer and director died of AIDS after a long struggle. But, as usual, she carried on.

Vaudy continued being active civically. She was on the Women's Board of Presbyterian Hospital (now CPMC) and the Mills Hospital Board (now Mills- Peninsula). She was also a member of the Cotillion Committee and was a Patron.

Vaudy loved her family, her friends and bridge. She hated poor grammar, bad manners, false pretenses and blowhards. She held her family and herself to high standards and counseled people to "rise above it." She combined an innate dignity with a wicked sense of humor and a constant twinkle in her eye.

Vaudy was pre-deceased by her parents, her husband Irvin, her son Tom, her sister and brother-in-law, Patsy and Lester Margolis and, sadly, most all her contemporaries.

She is survived by her sons Bob (Gretchen) of Sonoma and Steve (Renee) of Washington, DC; granddaughters Mollie Gardner Hector (Bill) and Besse Gardner Gross (Mike) of San Francisco and grandson Kevin of Eugene, OR; great grandchildren Harriet and Billie Hector; Bo Gross and his identical twin sisters, Frankie and Maggie; niece and nephew, Peter Margolis (Mirella) and Kitty Margolis (Alfonso).

The family wishes to thank her exceptional caregivers over the past two years: Sabina Gutierrez, Aura Flores, Ana Guzman, Conception Nunez, Lupe Madrigal as well as Mission Hospice.

At her request Memorial contributions are suggested to The Thacher School, 5025 Thacher Rd., Ojai, CA 93023 or Stevenson School, 3152 Forest Lake Rd., Pebble Beach, CA 93953 or to the .

A Memorial Service and gathering will be held in the near future. For information please email [email protected]